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Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary (1906):
Christian, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
Evangelist, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.
Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.
Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Reverence, n. The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man.
Saint, n. A dead sinner revised and edited.
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